


Shunned - Loki's Childhood

by shipping_and_handling



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Anger, Angry Loki (Marvel), Angry Odin (Marvel), Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Bad Writing, Based on an interview, Battle, Childhood, Childhood Memories, Childhood Stories, Childhood Trauma, Devious Loki, Dialogue Heavy, Editing tags a lot, Frigga Feels (Marvel), How Do I Tag, Hurt Loki (Marvel), I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I hate Odin, I lost sleep on this, I love Loki, I'm Bad At Tagging, Illusions, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Kid Sif (Marvel), Late Night Writing, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki (Marvel) is a Good Bro, M/M, Magic, Marvel Universe, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, Odin (Marvel)'s Bad Parenting, Odin is a jerk, Odin sucks, POV Loki (Marvel), Pack Sleepovers, Parent Frigga (Marvel), Poor Loki (Marvel), Pre-Thor (2011), Protective Frigga (Marvel), Purple Prose, Sassy Loki (Marvel), Scheming, Shapeshifter Loki (Marvel), Shapeshifting, Sleepovers, Tagging as I go, Thor sucks, Too much editing, Training, What Was I Thinking?, baby Loki, based on tom hiddleston talking about loki and thor's friends having a sleepover, how to tag, im sorry, loki deserves more, make devious loki a tag, rude thor, scheming loki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:40:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24807919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipping_and_handling/pseuds/shipping_and_handling
Summary: A collection of Loki's childhood stories that skip between ages.Featuring Odin's shitty parenting.(All these stories and events occur before the first Thor movie!!)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 40





	1. Combat Training

**Author's Note:**

> hey! I plan for this to be a collection of Loki's stories before the first Thor movie, most of which will highlight odin's shitty parenting. I hope this will get a bit *sPiCy* but im not sure yet lmao 
> 
> for this chapter, i had to do math to figure out around 7 years old in asgardian years. give me love because i did math. 
> 
> keep in mind that thor and loki are baebies in this. loki is like 10 in human years and thor around 13ish maybe. 
> 
> poor baebie loki ;( 
> 
> odin sucks and is the cause of all problems. >:(

“Brother? Brother, where are you?” Thor called aimlessly. 

Loki put his book in his lap and kneaded his forehead in irritation.

“You oaf, I’m here,” Loki said tetchily. 

Loki sat in the palace library. Curled up in a red armchair, a stack of books resting on the mahogany table in front of him, he had been reading for a whole night. 

“Loki! You have to go to combat training now.”

“Don’t want to,” Loki said carelessly, picking up his book and resuming. “Besides. I’m too young.”

“But you’re of age! Wait how old are y—”

“Brother, only five hundred years younger than you, as I keep having to remind you for it to get through your thick skull.”

Either Thor didn’t care or didn’t understand the insult (Loki chose to believe the latter). “Father said so!” Thor complained. 

Loki fully masked his face with the book, now ignoring Thor. 

Thor stormed out of the library. “Fine! I’ll tell father!” 

Loki just didn’t want to remember his first time combat training the week before… He had been pitted against Thor, who had been training since he was merely 560 years old as he got a painful reminder of that day. 

He hadn’t been able to move for 36 hours. 

His father called him weak, Thor made fun of him, and he got humiliated. That felt worse than the horrible pain. He wanted to avoid that from happening, wanted to avoid people snickering about him in the halls, punching his arm and laughing when he didn’t fight back. 

Instead, he focused on magic. 

Magic, that weaved through his fingers and carried things around the room. Magic, that in time, would allow him to shapeshift into different beings and people. Magic that his books taught him.

It was all he ever needed to learn.

* * *

That night at the dinner table, while everyone stuffed themselves with food, Odin abruptly put his fork down

He spoke with a deadly calm. “Loki, Thor tells me you didn’t attend your combat lessons today.”

“Yes, father,” Loki answered, looking diagonal from his spot to meet his father’s eyes. “It’s true.”

Silence. 

Everyone at the table but Loki could sense the storm brewing. 

Next to him, Thor finished quickly and bid Odin and Frigga good night.

Frigga daintily wiped her mouth and headed off to her chambers. 

Odin had been the first to finish. But he waited at the table, Loki unsuspecting of anything gone awry. 

Loki stood up to leave, but Odin gestured for him to stay, his father getting up and turning to his son. Loki stood by his father and didn’t think anything of it until--

_SMACK._

Loki cried out and held his cheek tenderly. His father… struck him? Loki couldn’t process the action.

“Father, wh—”

“You will attend your lessons with no complaints! You are going tomorrow as punishment. No excuses.”

A tear spilled down Loki’s face and he hung his head, nodding. “I—I’m sorry father. I’ll attend them.” 

“Good.”

Loki dashed to his room and buried himself under the covers and let himself cry. In shame, shock, and pain. 

That happened to be the day he learned how malicious his father could be. He should've realized earlier. How his father never gave a flying f--fish of what mishaps befell him. How his father gave all his scarce affection to Thor. 

Strange, how he never heard anything but praise and love for his idiotic brother.

That night, he dreamt of his first combat ‘lesson’...

* * *

_Loki inexpertly parried Thor’s blow, telling him, “Brother, aren’t you supposed to be teaching me?”_

_Fandral, Volstagg, Hogun and Sif sat just outside the arena ring, chanting Thor's name, their clothes covered in the mud they sat in._

_Thor ignored Loki’s inquiry and advanced with the wooden sword. Before Loki had time to react, Thor whacked him in the calf so hard he dropped on that knee, cracking it on the firm mud. Barely having time to wince, Thor pummeled him in the chest as he struggled to block, sending him tumbling to the ground. Loki put his hands up in surrender with a weak laugh._

_With no warning, Thor straddled around Loki and let go of his wooden sword. “Once you have them down, you—"_

_Loki couldn’t hear the rest, as he got clobbered in the face. His face sang with pain and he exclaimed wordlessly. “Thor. I get the point,” he huffed, the entire left side of his face stinging._

_Volstagg and Fandral cheered for Thor, and Loki tittered helplessly, a pang of jealousy overstaying its welcome in his heart. Thor, with so many friends to support him and_ **_worship_ ** _him._

_“But you also have to—” Thor continued—_

_In the stomach._

_Air forcefully jerked out of his lungs and he couldn’t breathe._

_This continued until Loki’s face swelled, his torso felt broken, and until he couldn’t move._

_The world spun and spiraled, everything numb, and Loki’s eyes closed in defeat._

_Thor forced him up. “How was that?” he asked proudly. Thor’s friends ran to him, spraying him with compliments._

_"That was so cool—"_

_How you just went_ **_wham_ —** _"_

_"No one can beat you—"_

_They all sounded like they were underwater._

_The elder slung his arm around his brother and playfully punched him in the arm, and his body finished. Stumbling to the side and crumpling down, he didn't realize he had passed out, waking to see his father’s angry face—_

* * *

Loki shot awake with a gasp, checking himself for nonexistent injuries.

“I can’t go back there,” he breathed. He realized his clock read 2AM, and he buried his face in his hands. “I can’t…”

Unless…

* * *

Loki paced at the training area earlier than normal that day, hoping he remembered what to do despite his total and utter lack of sleep. The sun shone dizzyingly hot on his pale skin and aggravated his dry, sleep-deprived eyes. He swatted at the heat as if it were a tangible thing.

Sooner than he'd wanted, his older brother swaggered into the arena with a sure grin lighting up his tanned face.

Thor's friends were all gathered in the same spot as last time, bringing back painful memories of the prior week.

"Weapons?" Thor asked. 

"Just these daggers," Loki replied nonchalantly, holding up twin wooden practice knives that were ready to fall apart due to mildew.

Thor nodded uneasily, lifting a sword of his own. 

Sif yelled from her spot as dramatically as she could, "Ready? Begin!"

Thor sprang into action, hitting Loki with the sword. 

It passed right through him, Loki dissolving in green sparks.

Thor roared in indignance. "Hey! What—"

He got rammed in the back by a floating wooden sword, falling over due to sheer force.

Loki shimmered at the edge of the ring, his forehead creased in concentration. Beads of sweat slipped down his face, but he wore a winning smile.

"I win! I knocked you down!" Loki exclaimed exuberantly, all traces of exhaustion on his features gone, the practice sword clattering to the floor. 

"You cheater!" 

"I won," Loki repeated happily. _And managed the spell!_ he finished in his head. 

Fandral, Volstagg, Hogun and Sif all got up, grumbling in reluctant acceptance, and stalked off.

Loki’s face fell. _Where are they going?_

Thor noticed Loki's face and scoffed. "They don't like you, Loki. Nothing will change." Thor dusted himself off and left, leaving Loki to his thoughts. 

Loki sat down in the mud, tears brimming in his eyes. He lost sleep to perfect his spells, and for what? For friends? The rewarding feeling of winning? To please his father? Burying his head into his curled up knees, he cried again, thinking that he probably had broken a record for crying. 

* * *

Again.

Back at the dinner table. 

Loki mostly kept to himself, responding to his mother's prying questions with barely any words. 

When Odin opened his mouth to speak, Loki shrank in his seat. "It seems that you won against Thor today. Pray tell, how were you able to manage that?"

Loki swallowed the tightness in his throat and stared at his plate of food. "Well… I—"

"Look at me when you're talking," Odin snapped.

Thor and Frigga, stuck in the middle of this, busied themselves with their food.

Loki hesitantly looked up into his father's unforgiving eye.

"I, um," he resumed, "used magic," he squeaked. 

"That's… nice. But _combat training_ is for _combat training,_ Loki." Loki could hear the anger laced in his father's voice, and he felt so _scared_ and small.

"I'm sorry father, I truly am, I—"

"You just keep disappointing me."

"Father—"

He cut Loki off with a wave of his hand. "I'm done with your excuses."

Loki left his food and flounced to his room, flopping on his bed and facing the window. He had knocked Thor down. Wasn't it enough? Nothing he did pleased his father.

His father would always be disappointed in him whatever he did. He should've noticed how his father didn't care about what befell him. How generously he dealt out punishments to him and _never_ Thor. How unfairly he was treated in general. 

_The sooner you come to terms with that, the easier it'll be,_ he thought forcefully, the idea of having to deal with Odin's shiitake mushroom parenting for the rest of his life dampening his mood even more. 

Someone knocked on his door, too gentle for it to be anyone but his mother. 

Using his magic, the door seemed to open of its own accord. 

Frigga settled down right to Loki and cradled him as if he were younger, Loki leaning into his mother's warmth, grateful to have someone with him. 

“Loki,” she began softly, “your father doesn't like…you using your magic.”

He stiffened in her arms. “Why?” 

“It’s not… the Asgardian way. You’ve never seen me use magic too much—”

“To _hell_ with the Asgardian ways!” Loki barked angrily, shoving himself out of his mother’s embrace.

“Language--”

“Are we supposed to fight like—like— _brutes_ to get what we want?” he spat out. 

“I understand—”

“You _don’t._ You _don’t_ understand,” he huffed.

Frigga gave him a small smile that meant many things. She probably knew that masked under all that domineering anger lay a raw sadness that after so many years of mistreatment wanted release. 

Loki refused to admit his emotions, turning away from his mother like a petulant child. He heard soft rustling as Frigga got up and left him to sort out his thoughts. 

Odin had treated him like nothing for so many years, and now Loki thought about every single interaction between him and his father, rewriting everything he knew.

To make his father treat him equally, magic or not… there would be lots of work involved. 

He’d better get started. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i promise the next chapter will be better haha 
> 
> thanks for taking time to read this !
> 
> all the uwus to you!


	2. The Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a rather uneventful dinner, Loki practically shook in eagerness. Running to his room to retrieve his things, he stopped at Thor’s door, right across from his, and knocked.  
> Thor opened the door a smidge and surveyed Loki. He took in his bag, his expression, and told him, “Get lost.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! I'm sorry for the really late update haha. i was experiencing a burnout and needed 2 days for not writing lol. 
> 
> anyway, in this chapter, loki is like 7ish years old, so younger than the last chapter.
> 
> this was definitely *not* based off of tom hiddleston's mtv interview, it's just that it is. i watched it many moons ago and knew i had to write about it, so here it is lol. 
> 
> poor baebie loki ;(

Loki had been reading in his room when Frigga knocked.

He called brightly, "Yes mother, you may come in!" Loki liked it when his mother came to chat with him. His father would sit with Thor, and Frigga would sit with… both of them, actually. 

He took what he got. 

"Hello." Frigga smiled at her content child. "What do you have there?" she asked, referring to the book he was reading.

"It's a book on illusions!" Loki said cheerily. "I want to learn how to trick people!" Loki was rather fond of this skill of his: hiding ill intention behind his innocent, chipper, young smile. 

A shade passed over Frigga's face so quickly Loki didn't detect it. 

"Well. Thor, Sif, Fandral, Hogun and Volstagg are having a sleepover in Thor's chambers, and you should come!" 

"D—did they invite me?" Loki sputtered in excitement. 

"Y— _e_ _ah._ Yes. They did," Frigga said, far from smoothly. 

"Thanks for telling me!" Loki returned to his book with a wide smile on his face, hearing his mother murmur a "no problem" to him.

 _Thor_ and his _friends_ had invited _him_ to _their_ sleepover! It was almost too much! 

_Maybe they're finally starting to like me,_ he thought contentedly.

Loki put his book down, unable to focus on it. He moved restlessly around his room, making his already made bed and tilting books on his shelf so they stood straight. 

At last, he decided his energy would be put to good use if he got his stuff together for the sleepover. 

After getting his things together, he continued reading, finally able to focus. 

The mere notion of friends was foreign to Loki. Thor would easily pick up friends by showing off his already developed muscle and skills with a sword, while Loki would levitate an apple and toss it across the room. 

People found the former much more interesting. 

He didn’t have an inkling of an idea of what friends did together. Hopefully he would learn tonight. 

Dread replaced the exuberance running through his veins. What if he failed at being a friend? Loki shook off the negativity that came with his happiness and forced on through the book. 

* * *

After a rather uneventful dinner, Loki practically shook in eagerness. Running to his room to retrieve his things, he stopped at Thor’s door, right across from his, and knocked.

Thor opened the door a smidge and surveyed Loki. He took in his bag, his expression, and told him, “Get lost.” 

“W—what? Brother, we’re having a sleepover, are we not?” Through the opened door, he could see The Warriors Three and Sif sitting in a circle and talking and smiling. _I wish._

“You. Aren’t. Invited.” Thor said stiffly. 

“Brother—”

“No.” Thor slammed the door in Loki’s face, leaving him crestfallen. 

“But—Thor!” he complained. 

“Bye!” Loki heard Sif say. 

Loki blinked, as if it was a joke someone would call off. But no one opened the door, no one invited him in. Nothing. 

He covered his face and pressed his back against the wall, sinking to the floor in desolation. 

_I’m alone, as always,_ he thought bitterly. 

He trudged back to his room and slumped on his bed. Tears threatened to spill from his eyes, but he willed them away. Now was not the time to cry. Now was the time to plot. 

To get sweet, sweet revenge. 

* * *

“You got it, Thor!” Hogun cheered, watching Thor spar with Sif. Fandral cheered for Sif and Volstagg sat next to him, awfully quiet. 

Thor and his friends had been sparing since the sun shone high in the sky. Now, it was almost sunset and the cool evening air blew refreshingly on everyone’s sweaty faces. 

Sif parried Thor’s hit and kicked him in the chest, sending him sliding across mud. After a series of too quick to follow moves, Sif’s wooden sword got knocked out of her hand.

Thor yelled and leaped forward, ready to deal the finishing blow, when his sword shimmered into a fistful of flowers. 

He stopped, confused, and Sif took the opportunity to punch his jaw, knocking him to the ground. 

“HA! I beat you!” Sif crowed. 

“But—but my sword—”

Thor was cut off by loud laughter from Volstagg.

“Volstagg—” Thor warned menacingly—

But in his place sat Loki, snorting and snickering. “Your face—priceless—” he guffawed. 

Sif, processing what happened, bore her fierce eyes into Loki’s. “What did you do?” she demanded. 

“Well, I just made an illusion! So it looked like Thor's sword was flowers, but—" 

"Woah. That's… pretty useful, actually," Hogun admitted.

"And I used an illusion to look like Volstagg as well, who took a nap after lunch and is probably in his chambers," Loki finished. 

Fandral nodded in approval. "Nice."

All singing Loki’s praises but Thor, who still raged at his loss on the ground, covered in mud. "Loki!" he bellowed. "I'll tell father, you cheat!"

"I just—"

"If you hadn't done that, I would've won! Sif won with _your_ help," he said pointedly.

"Yeah! So I didn't really win!" Sif said, quickly taking Thor's side.

Loki's confidence crumpled like wet paper. _They didn't like it._

"Let's go find Volstagg, guys," Thor grumbled to his friends, leading the way back inside. 

Loki sat outside until the sun set, utterly discombobulated. What was the harm in a little trick? 

* * *

Loki plodded inside around dinnertime, the rejection of Thor and his group still gnawing at him. What was wrong with him? Did people avoid him because he acted _differently_ somehow?

It felt so _frustrating_ that whatever he did, to whatever extent he did things, he wasn’t liked. 

By _anyone._ He had no friends at all, and his brother acted nice only when his friends weren’t around.

Loki let himself wallow in his self-pity as he rounded a corner and bumped into his father, who had been evidently waiting for him. 

“Oh, hello father—”

“You are going to your room without supper.”

“Why—”

“Thor told me all about your little— _trick_ —today, and I know you should be punished for it so you never do such a thing again,” his father explained extensively.

Loki thought of all the vilifying and deep-cutting slurs he could hurl at his father, but he held his silver-tongue, not particularly bent on the notion of getting into worse trouble. Still, he felt more than ready to scream at his father that real life wasn't fair, people used magic to win battles, and that his father _coddled_ Thor too much. He solely nodded his head in _stupid_ submission and headed to his chambers looking calm, fingers twitching slightly, barely holding back the tempestuous storm that raged in his head.

Closing his door quietly to not alarm anyone, he closed his shaking fingers around a random book and hurled it against the door, wanting to let his ire bellows escape his lips but knowing he couldn’t—

_I hate my father._

_I hate my brother._

_His friends can go to HEL._

_I hate EVERYONE._

Loki stalked over to his bookshelf, slamming a fist into it, savoring the pain and letting his knuckles burn.

Loki covered his face and perched down on the edge of his bed, but in between his fingers he could see the book he had thrown. The spine read, _Shapeshifting for Dummies._

It piqued his interest enough to put his vexation aside for a moment and hesitantly walk towards it. 

Picking it up and settling on his bed, he flipped through the pages and a devious smile slowly consumed his features.

This, oh _this_ was _truly_ something to behold. Would be a shame… if someone chose to perhaps _learn_ this shapeshifting magic and use it in utterly _fraudulent_ ways…

Loki started the book at page one and completely set his anger aside, thinking that maybe this punishment wasn’t so bad after all… 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments about anything are appreciated! constructive criticism is very welcomed! thank you for reading chapter 2! i hope for an older loki for the next one, perhaps bi loki? 
> 
> stay tuned~!

**Author's Note:**

> yay! you made it! feel free to let me know how you feel, any constructive criticism, thoughts and opinions, and how odin sucks in the comments! <3


End file.
